Though it does not show, I cant still deny the fact that Im thinking of someone. No, not because we separated and I regret it but because I regret being insensitive at the time he was asking for a second chance.
But what can I do? I was hurt that time. He kept on insisting that we should see each other every now and then. When I offered Thursday evening, he said it was too late we have nowhere to hang out. When I offered Friday, he said he has to go to school. I offered Saturday, he said he's not available on weekends. I offered Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and even Saturday the coming week, he said he has a lot of school stuffs to do. He asked if I could make an absent on thursday. I said I cant for I was supposed to pass my midterm and maybe final requirement for my Basic Photography class, he BLAMED me.
He said I have no time for him. I said I just need him to understand. There are a lot of things in my life that I need to accomplish, not just seeing my boyfriend everyday. I need to get high grades to satisfy myself and my parents, and have time to rest as well. I just needed him to understand me the way I understand that he's not fond of sending me text messages and that he plays dota all day long. His was for LEISURE, and mine was for my FUTURE.
But everytime I try to explain my side, he insists its all my fault.
A day after, he apologized and asked for a second chance. I asked him if he already understand the situation, and he was like "Napag isipan ko na. Mali ako, at may mali ka rin."
I dont know why, but I got mad that time. He really does think that Im willing to spend time on my friends and studies, and not on my boyfriend.
He wanted my time? Then why do I wait for his text message until 12 midnight?
He pissed me off when he said that he was just for show.
I want to apologize but then my pride gets on the way.
Why? Maybe I got tired of apologizing.
TIME isnt the most important thing in a relationship. I think it's LOYALTY, TRUST, and UNDERSTANDING.
I never wanted him to prioritize me. I want him to prioritize God, his Family, and mostly his studies.
I want to get high grades so that Mama wont worry about me getting involved in a relationship anymore and that I could introduce him to my WHOLE family.
Well I guess Ill just let things fall into their proper places. If it's meant to happen, it will happen-- in the perfect time, at the perfect place.
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